Spring into Summer Fashion!

Father’s Day just so happened to be the 1st day of Summer, and living in Florida, I can tell ya it was a hot one!  Don’t we say that every year?!

With this hot weather upon us, it’s time for some fun Summer fashion.

I took it upon myself to sip on muh wine, while painting my nails a fun Summer-y color.  I chose, Essie’s Sunday Funday.  How fun – ha, see what I did there?  Maybe it’s the wine talking?!

essiesundayfundaySuch a nice color.  There’s a bit of a glittery hue to it also, but I don’t think the camera picked it up.  It’s there though, promise!

summer styleI wore a tank top I got from Kohl’s, along with one of those ‘bib style‘ necklaces (also from Kohl’s).  I was at work, so I paired it with some Miss Me jeans and this mustard colored boyfriend cardigan from Target.  I thought this look came together quite nicely.  Simple, with a touch of class.

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Inside Out – Disney Pixar Movie

Inside Out
                 Image found on http://www.forbes.com

I took the kids Friday night, to see the new Disney Pixar movie, Inside Out!  It was a cute movie for the whole family.  It was last minute, but I’m glad we decided to go.

It’s basically a movie about a girl and the ‘voices inside her head’.  (OK, so when I explain it that way, it almost sounds kind of creepy, doesn’t it?)  Well, it’s far from that though!

There are the different emotions a person feels, and they are each, different characters in the movie.  I think the movie was a good example of how all of our emotions work in our lives.  Some movie critics even said the movie changed the way they understood their own emotions.  Pretty serious, right?!

I’m a BIG fan of Disney Pixar movies anyways, so naturally, I was excited to see this!

Thankfully, I didn’t end up crying in this Disney Pixar movie!  I sure was close though!

The kids, ready for the movie!
          The kids, ready for the movie!

Have any of you seen Inside Out yet?  If so, what did ya think about it?

Becoming Junior Rangers

With it being 2 weeks into Summer break, I’ve been trying to compile a list of things to do with the kids.  Mostly, cheap and/or free!  Really, who has time for all that money spendin’?

NOT THIS MOMMA!

So, I pulled out my trusty iPad and got to researching.  Found a great website filled with local things to do, fun4lakekids.com  Some how or another, Junior Ranger’s popped up.  Apparently, our local State Park – Lake Griffin State Park – has this awesome program!

Basically, you can go to your local State or National Park(s) and ask if they have the Junior Ranger program.  If they do, they’ll get you a packet that your kids will fill out.  Once it’s filled out, you turn it in and get a patch/pin.  How awesome?

For $5, I’ll take it!  Well, that’s the admission price to get into said State Park. You’ll have to check your local parks to see what the costs are.  We spent about an hour and a half at the park, filling out what we could.  Then, we took a nature walk and headed home.  The playground was too hot to play on, as it was in the middle of the sun with no shade.

With trying to buckle down and save money, I thought this was an awesome idea.  State and National parks have a lot to offer, too.  In fact, Friday is my next day off, and we plan on picking another park to spend the morning/afternoon.  I think packing a picnic would be ideal!

Here are my soon to be Junior Rangers:

Junior Ranger Junior Ranger

Epic Mommy Adventures

Anxiety, with a side of Depression?

If you’re ‘lucky’ enough to have anxiety, as do I, then you may know just how bad the night time really is.

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) a few years ago, and in short, it’s the worst thing E-V-E-R!  No lie!  It’s like the deepest, darkest area of my life I want nothing to do with.  I’m not sure many people who suffer from anxiety of any kind, actually enjoy it.

It comes and goes, but mostly?  It stays.  Always lurking in the shadows, ready to show it’s ugly head.  Like tonight – it’s here and it ain’t leavin’!  Nope, I’ve got my good ole sidekick, kickin’ it with me pulling yet another all-niter.  Because, well, why not?

Hell, I’ve probably got a mixture of GAD and Hypochondria!  I’m pretty sure I’ve got everything there is on Google.  Seriously people, don’t Google your symptoms.  You’ll regret it later when you can’t sleep!

I don’t know how to go on some times.  It gets hard.  Knowing that this isn’t going to go away.  That I’ll always have this ‘thing’ wrong with me.  I hate it.  I hate myself for having ‘IT’.  But, I deal with it.  Even though I don’t like ‘just dealing with it’.  I do anyways.  I do it for me, and for my kids.  For my family and for God.  I know I’m here for a reason.  Whatever that reason is, I’m not to know, just that I’m here.  I’d like to think I’m here to make a difference in people’s lives.  But, I haven’t figured out how to go about doing that.

There’s so much going through my head 90% of the time, the other 10% I’m sleeping.  I don’t know how to turn my mind off.  I keep telling myself, “If I had this, this, and this done, I’d be OK!”  In reality, I’m not sure I would be.  I just keep thinking to myself how unhappy I am.  How unhappy I am with the way my life turned out.  The bad thing is…I have the rest of my life to make it better!  And, I KNOW it!  Yet, I still think negative.

I get anxious thinking about the ‘what if’s’ in life, when I shouldn’t be so worried about that.  I should live more for the NOW and not the, “if this happens, then what will I do?”‘s?

Example’s of an anxiety filled mind:
“What if I have cancer? What will happen to my kids?  I don’t want them to grow up without a mom!  I didn’t, I mean, I had a mom!”
“What if I go to the dentist for this tooth that’s been bothering me, and something goes awry, and something happens to me?”
“I could be allergic to this food, or that medicine!  What will I do?”
“What if I need help in the middle of the night, and everyone is asleep and won’t know?”
“I’ll never get out of debt!” (OK, this is a big one amongst those of us WITHOUT anxiety)!
“I’m feeling funny/weird, could I be dying?”
“Maybe I have something, and the doctor just doesn’t believe me.”

Those are just SOME of the thoughts that run wild in my mind.  Then, it just makes my anxiety even worse.  Most of the time, at night, when my anxiety is at it’s highest, I’ll go snuggle one of my kids in bed.  It’s what worries me most (other than financially) about being a single mom.  Those nights I won’t have my kids, I’m afraid of how I’ll feel.  Afraid of how much I’ll struggle.

For tonight, I’ll manage my outrageous thoughts, and snuggle with this sweet boy and my imaginary glass of wine.

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Intro to Single Mom-icitis

Here I sit; Alone. Kids are asleep and I’ve got a dog sitting next to me. I guess this is the beginning of my new life. A life of singleness. Yea, I’ll be a single mom of 2 for a very long time. I’m at a point in my life where I’m all, “hey, I can do this, I am OK with this.” Really? I’m not! Deep down inside, I’m crumbling. I want nothing more than to open my eyes and let this all be a dream. Is there an ‘easy’ button for this new phase of life I’m about to face?

Let’s face it; this is something that I need to do. Not just for my kids, but for me. You heard me! ME! I’ve been unhappy and confused for what feels like forever. I need this time to collect my crumbled body up off the ground. Molding myself into a new ‘me’ is going to be a journey I’m afraid, yet willing, to take. None of us really know what our futures hold, do we? And if we did, I’m sure we’d all be in a better place. Hell, had I known I’d be at this place in life, I would’ve done something an awful long time ago!

I’m sure that none of the single, divorced mother’s out there ever thought they’d be just that; single and divorced…add having kids and it’s no wonder why we sit around drinking wine while watching sappy Lifetime movies! But, here we are – being ‘single mom wine drinkers’ and all.

I’m not as mad, as I am hurt by the outcome of my marriage. But, let’s face it; I’m downright disgusted in having a marriage ruined by cheating. I’m also hurt at the failure of a family that once was. Two years. That’s how long it’s been since the ‘deed’ was done, and I’ve come to realize, it will never go away. I’m made to believe it’s me who’s done wrong, when there are two at fault. I’d rather sit and cry, than to be lead to believe this is all me. After all, where is he tonight? Out.

So, here I sit – alone, and with my dog. Surprisingly enough, there’s no wine involved, and no Lifetime movie on. Instead, I’m left with my thoughts bustling around in my head.

Hello world!

Hello all you wander-er’s of the internet!

I’ve actually been blogging for a few years now;  I just decided to start a separate blog in hopes of bringing out ‘me’.  Something that’s been in hiding for quite some time.  Mostly due to silly antics, but also more serious issues like, anxiety and depression, as well as unhappy & unhealthy relationships.

So, if you’re wanting to read meaningless posts, you’re more then welcome to stay.  I might throw in some recipes, fashion, DIY, and beauty posts too.  Who knows?  You’ll just have to stick around to find out for yourself.